It's been a while since I've sent any communication out as a beacon to my chosen family, letting them know of my well-being/living condition/placement on the spiral. This is because I have not had any news to relate, or more rather, news I want to relate. Even to myself. It's a rough and dry road, and it has shaken me to the chassis. But alas, I almost forgot who I am and how I operate. I became too busy, too concerned with keeping steady in the turbulence, and lost sight of the goal:
To fly through to the other side of the storm!
My resume rests on many desks, in many mailboxes, and the notices from the world outside maintain the same dismal tune. But I have persisted. And I persist still.
As long as my blood fights to keep running, I will fight to keep living. Not existing, like the constructs of this strange society would have artists succumb to, but to take my addiction to storytelling and place it back on its mantle in my core, deposing the cold stone of Slow-death, with its minute hands and penny counters.
So, this being an artist's journal from my own vantage as an artist I felt it necessary to expound upon my travails in this dark moment.
I continue to draw, to write and to paint, even though my mind is tethered fast to the famine of my bank account and hypothetical moment in which a publisher, production company or comic book house will call or email. This is absolutely essential. Keep building your portfolio with things you want to see.
Currently I am painting a full page image of Vincent Price for Blue Water Comics' "Vincent Price Presents:". A paying gig? No, not until the sales are in, and even then there is the chance that they will reject my painting.
Keep sending your resume, CV, online galleries to everyone. Let a week & a half pass, then do it again.
Also, do not let yourself forget who you are. You're not desperate. You're not a cog. You're not groundling. You are an artist. You are a warrior. You are one of the people that can do things that people chose not to, or are even able to do. I lost sight of this for a stint. Now I have it back.
I was reminded of it this morning when I lost my shit after checking out my bank account. I can only take so many hits before I have to find a quiet spot out of sight from any and all spectators and completely meltdown. So that happened.
Then Nadja told me the news: I'm Rahb. This isn't my life, this isn't who I am. Then she checked her email and ound out that, in addition to the penciling gig she already has drawing an entire issue of "Vincent Price Presents:", she got a solid offer from another comic company wanting her inking skills at industry page-rates. And she has a part time job at an art supply store.
Because she didn't forget to remember.
So there's that.
I'll post again when the new phone number and internet access becomes active at our new flat. I'll also start ommunicating again with those that helped me become who I am now.
WWR THE CHASE GICLEE instore now
2 years ago